Stanza # one: I just love it.
Was simple..was dear was mango-able and that is something I can never resist.
worded in a sweet way..and the last line
opened the opportunity, for sweeter words NEXT-NICE START!

Stanza # 2: These line are heart-ly poetic! Incredibly descriptive and I just loove them badly
"There, sitting on the daisy-speckled grass,
surrounded by trees crowned with misty green"

and my teeth sunk in mango, ( LOVELY image :P)
you discovered a white hair on my head.
( LOL)

On my head,
it had been
stripped, starved, it had
curled into
itself, hideous,
ashamed,
lonely and strange
and new.
ABBY!!!! this is truly the most perfect
picture..and wording ..to serve ur image and aim!

At length, the wind carried it away
to a day stretching longer and brighter
than the last,
for now.
>>>fabulous ...just fabulous..i love the deepness of this stanza..u knw this poem been flopping from humor to sweetness..to romance..to ..to..SUCH a mix!

I looked to the deepening folds
of your smile. (this is well said..I love ur style!)
I looked to your eyes
through the distant years, fading slowly
with my reflection.
^^^you are going deeper and deeper here..how amazing..Abby ur a very mysterious person..with so much emotions deep inside ur heart..i can't believe how ur going on and on through this poem..it's inspiring me.

I looked down to the lines
gathering on your hand
resting on my hand.
^^^^^^^^
AAAWWWW this is very sweet..thought provoking
and amazingly penned..i can even imagine it!

Spring burst itself around me, then,
warm and tremulous
and ancient.

this reflected a very high level of ur imagination.
I just can't believe from where this sweetness started and where it had to end..
such a poem to enjoy...to make the reader smile..giggle ( as a female :P)..think..AWw..and Admire!

5/5
SURE

now finish ur mango

Ha, this made me smile:) Yes, the first white hair is always a difficult milestone in someone's life, but also something to be proud of.

I loved reading this, you write so well, Abby:)

I looked to the deepening folds
of your smile. I looked to your eyes
through the distant years, fading slowly
with my reflection.

I looked down to the lines
gathering on your hand
resting on my hand.

^^
I think growing old together is the most beautiful thing in the world. It is special someone in her twenties wrote this and still made the reader feel like she is in that phase herself.

Well done,

5/5 Ingrid

...leaving, as usual, the technical analysis to the experts,
I say:
OMG and, WoW.....
27, you say?
looking back, one thing's for sure...
I may have had this depth of vision regarding my expeience of heading toward 30 (!) but...
I surely could Not, yet, express it with such touching and articulate depth of emotion....
anyway...I certainly don't know if this is based on 'reality' or your profound capacity to 'imagine'........Either way, I repeat:
OMG and WoW......
also, thank you
for this beautiful little movie to install into my interior landscape theater....(*_*)
Let the stars stay in your eyes............

Simply put, I am a fan.....
even if I leave this site (potentiality),
I will revisit just to read you, and Sibyllene..
If you ever "publish", PLEASE let me know
(you have my address.....right?)

gramma.........

Warm Regards to Spring in Melbourne....

Oh wow, I'm not even going into it like these ladies did. I'll just say awesome, well done.

I really loved the awesome imagery throughout the entire poem, it felt as though I was living within the season with the writer, each description gave more life to the poem. 'daisy-speckled grass' was rather clever,

The white hair on your head, I guess I didn't quite pick up on that - if you meant for it to be literal or figurative but I didn't pick up on the metaphor? I suppose if I thought about it longer I could figure it out, but it definitely made me think, because it has such a mysterious significance that isn't said flat out. Perhaps its how the writer was feeling or feels in Spring? I like the unknown of this stanza and how it's open for any interpretation.

I liked the usage of 'At length,' you never really hear that in poetry, It may have been my first time hearing it in a poem but I liked it, it was something different, and a very nice transition into the rest of the poem. You did a great job in this stanza describing how the days get longer at the end of Spring, into the start of summer.

Loved the ending, truly brilliant :)

I nominated this poem for the contest, but I didn't yet know how to comment on it. I still don't, really. It's hard to smack words onto something you love, and I happen to love every little thing you write. The last three stanzas are pure wonder. You have that moment, the mango. You have the taste of the fruit, the juice from the corners of your mouth, you have the vision of the trees, the feel of the wind, and in that moment you're taken OUT of time. You see this season returning year after year, cycling through, as the wrinkles around your eyes grow deeper and there you are, still, looking at each other and smiling. That moment is Spring.

Did you change the title? No never mind.

Spring has always always been my favourite season. It signifies NEW, new life, when nature is at its most glorious, full of promise, it rejuvenates, reinvigorates

You seem to have captured all of that and more, for with spring we have always looked to capture love and the promise of...

Yet at the same time you have instilled an amount of reality with your "white hair" something that is inevitable yet not to be dwelled on just yet, that is for another day "for now"

Your last stanza finishes perfectly; you seem to have gathered all around you, content with the implications...life is good

The youngness of Spring making you feel old? Making you wonder if the one you're with is the one you'll be with for the rest of your life? Feel like you're running out of time?

Well, this poem gave me so many impressions, it was a bit hard to handle. Excellent writing, really. No clue why you're being down-voted when this is quite obviously a better poem on PnQ.

C'est la vie. Keep it up, chica.

Thoughtful words, my friend.

It's good to see you penning again.

You see, love and deep friendship can bring forth such wonders... :)

I love this. The grey "lonely and strange and new" hair represents a strange and new chapter of your life, but it's a chapter that you will be experiencing with him by your side which makes it all feel "warm and tremulous and ancient". I haven't found my first grey hair yet, but I can see a few wrinkles under my eyes. I am looking forward to this phase, hopefully with my guy. Thank you for being the best poet every time.