Comments : If I opened my heart to you

  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Yet its his your holding.

    ^ should be you're

    "I all but die under that gaze."

    You repeat gaze in this stanza, I would use a different word in one of the lines, it would flow better.

    That is the only critique I can offer, other than this I thought you did a good job capturing what it is to admire from afar, pushing down feelings for a friend. A nice read. Good work.