The rock

I heft the rock in my hand.
I try to close my whole hand around
it's hard body.
And I squeeze.

I do this to stop the mad thoughts
from running through my head.
Thoughts that draw me to an edge.
An edge I don't like to stand close to.

My breathing ebbs, and lolls, through my
chest, deeply, and hot.
My mind spins again, and again,
and again, and again.

I can't control this anymore.
Voices...in my head.
Voices...in my cries.
voices...that are not my own.

So many, so many, so many.
Why don't they go away?
So loud, and never stopping.
They haunt and haunt me.

I hold the rock to my brow,
and feel the coolness tame the
hot anger there, under the skin.
Take this away from me, please?

How do I free myself?
How do I make it all go away?
Why can't I just run from here,
and never have to come back?

Take me away, little rock.
Take me away...from this insanity?
I hold you, and warm you,
and give you all that I am.

I've looked for the glass to break,
with just one good throw.
Just one window to end it all,
and end me with one terrific shattering.