Something I've Missed

Lately I've been thinking of knocking on your door,
Hoping you'd even open to see what I'm here for...
Praying you would listen to what I had to say,
Realizing I'll still be alone when I turn the other way...

Every now and then I get this punch-in-stomach feeling,
Being caused by you makes it hard to believe in...
We've made more wrongs than ever right,
We gave up so many times after so many fights...

I've cleaned these hands that once wiped my tears,
I found new safe havens to diminish all fears...
But still, my heart aches to the thought of us being gone,
Reality hits knowing I did care all along

Sometimes when it's just me, I can't help but cry,
It's like I'm haunted by the memories that won't fall behind....
So when I was told about your accident and your condition,
I forgot about breathing, thinking, life, and who was in it...

The thought of losing you permanently turned my heart inside out,
I was torn apart, I would be torn apart, there is no doubt...
You act like nothing matters, however, I was one of the first calls
But i wont allow wishful thinking to be one of my falls...

I'm so proud of you, believe what I say,
You really wanted to change in a positive way...
I don't believe in us being what the fairy-tales are based upon,
Because somewhere on our path, we both went wrong

I'm happy for you and your fiance
You two should be happy, for that i do pray
But if at any time you feel that you left something at home,
Just turn around and come find it on your own

I don't mean to burden your mind anymore than it already is,
I had to get this off my chest. I'm glad I did.
I'm not asking for anything to come out of this
I'm just pouring my heart out in case there was something i missed

I'm expecting to end this alone
Ive been getting use to walking home on my own...
If you ever question or think about us,
Know you have my heart more than anyone else does

It hurts so much, i cant even explain this to anyone,
I cant even start a conversation since it's already been done...
If i could go back, Id change words said and actions made,
But this story is written in permanent marker, so it's just a matter of time until it finally fades