Home is where the Heart is...

I sometimes wonder how I got here
This place of pain and tears
It seemed to have happened so fast
yet I've felt the same for years

I wake up every morning
tell myself "take it one step at a time"
but nothing seems to get better
the higher that I climb

"It will get better, don't you worry"
I've heard this shit over and over
"Just keep your head up Christiane,
it will soon all blow over"

I try to hold on and do my best
but no matter how hard I try
the mountains just get higher
and the pain will never subside

I've tried and tried to not give up
but the burden is too much to bare
I've tried to right my wrongs for you
but my mistakes are beyond repair

I'm sorry for hurting others so much
but I can't take back what I've already done
I'd do anything to change and fix things
and apologize to every one

The hurt is a constant battle every day
and I don't want to admit that I'm losing
I'm starting to realize it'll never stop
and this life is now, much less confusing

I know now what I didn't before
the pain will never go away
I've run out of ways to cope with this
so I'll get on my knees and pray

I'll thank my God for the opportunity of life
but the reason I'm writing this awful poem
is because, God, I can't take it anymore
and it's time for me to come back home...