A Spark, To Pierce The Dark

How negative emotions effect us all.. You did a great job capturing your feelings and putting them into words. This is one poem everyone can relate to. Great Job.

The only thing I can suggest is:
"Fearfully humming prayers, as (Pause)
I listen to the pace of each breath I take,"

The pause in your line is off. Its in the middle of a breath. It ruins your flow.
I think it would sound better if you said:

"Fearfully humming prayers as I listen(Pause)
to the pace of each breath I take,"

Just a suggestion :) Oh and this line ^ and this line v are my favorite:

"distracted by my unaligned heartbeats."

You chose words that fit beautifully together and that create a wonderful picture.

Excellent
5/5

Distracted by my unaligned heartbeats.
^Loved this part, absolutely loved it. Unaligned heartbeats, I'm not sure what it was about that but it just really sounded amazing.

The usage of the title was perfect, I loved the ending as you are calling upon a shooting star, in hopes of wishing and escaping from this darkness. I really loved how you incorporated the title, although you saved it for the end it made it all that more special and meaningful. :)

Lol To the first line of Britts' comment. :] Anyway this poem was truly a sad one and it embodied it in every line that you wrote as you pulled the reader deeper and deeper into the pain you feel. Also I loved how easily this poem flowed as it made it easier to read and I also could go from stanza to stanza with ease. I tried picking out a favorite line but found it impossible. So I would have to say the entire poem was my favorite one lol. Great job and keep writing.

I'm not good at writing long involved comments on poems. I will leave that to others. But have to say this was excellently done.
If offered up a lot of different themes and emotionsl Brilliant

Seeking a path through
the field of sadness.

I fail to escape

^^
It is hard to take your distance when sadness comsumes you whole, it is hard to find a way back to happiness..I know.

Though the cloudiness of my eyes
segregates it's drought
so light beams from deep
within my dreary nights

but fails to illuminate
the darkness of my soul..

^^
Dark as in sad, eh? Beautifully put, those two last lines..

For I have fell out of color, out of shape.
Surrounded by shadows swallowing the field
which I gradually lost the ability to see.

^^
fell should be fallen

This part is very, very dark and eerie. It is like you are describing someone who has lost her sanity..such immense sadness oozes from these words:(

Fearfully humming prayers, as
I listen to the pace of each breath I take,

distracted by my unaligned heartbeats.

^^
This gave me goosebumps, I somehow saw you do this. Humming prayers is often done by people who are on the edge.

I call for a falling star, that unlike me
-shines still
yearning for a blur spark, to pierce the dark..

^^
We can indeed derive hope from such things, magical happenings, something that lifts us up from our depression.

Dark write, Nana, more dark than sad...

Well done hunni

5/5 Ingrid