Its aching
Every facet of my being is aching
My entire body is shaking
There is no mistaking
That to the true reality I am waking
Squirming, wishing to break free
There's no way I could have foreseen
Why or how things have happened this way
Why all of a sudden life has shunted back to convey
High school
The drama
The heartache
The memories
That which I tried SO hard to forget.
These feelings,
They're familiar
Throbbing, alive and reeling.
I can't handle it anymore.
I thought I'd surpassed this but obviously
Nothing's the way I thought it was.
It's all a charade
The fronts all fade
Friendships become frayed
The true souls finally become displayed.
How could they have persuaded me of
This different persona than who they really are
To the point that discovery causes anguish?
Discovery I almost wish I'd never made,
Or more so that I'd known from the start
Known to be smart and put up my guard
Or known that this knowledge could tear us apart
Knowledge, that's a funny thing
We all think we want it
But sometimes it stings.
Some prefer ignorance as it is bliss
Others simply don't care
But for those of us who yearn to soak up all we can?
Sometimes we soak in poison
And it ruins us beyond repair.
Should have been prepared
Aware that this might happen
Yet caught off guard
The poison slowly,
Little by little
Tears us to pieces
Condemned to endless torture.
Wanting to cry, to sob, to exude the very emotions that consume
But incapacitated by ourselves
Locking the emotions where no one can find them
And so deep that even we can't release
When we want to let go, be free, and find
Peace.
