Comments : Alterations.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Reminds me a lot of a poem i wrote when I came back here..yes jace..you would not even know who they are anymore..a very well said opening stanza..i just loved it!..loved the word choice and the messages i got from it.

    I loved the 2nd stanza so much temps..I loved how it as so tender with words that I felt like im in complete silence..thought provoking and strongly..strongly worded..

    thus I absorb change
    as if it was meant to be.
    ^^how disappointing..how sad..i am not sure what to say..u seem like to have so much wisdom these days..trust me ur simple poems which are deep and rich ..are better as britt said..and u touch us deeper..

    I really enjoyed ur work..and THIS work..a LOT..

    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Jad

    A wonderfully heart filled poem and I was so taken in by it as at times I could apply this poem to my very life. It is so true that at times our friends that we once have become so distant and the bridges are torn apart between you and them. Anyway as for the poem I really liked all the stanzas and also the depth in which you speak again is deep and also the emotions are so sad in this piece and could almost make you feel the pain you try to express in this poem. The flow and everything else in the poem was fine and beautiful. The poem itself took me in and I know for me, That I was drawed in from the first line and didn't stop reading till it was done and then I had to read it again. Great job and keep writing.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Well.....
    'Change: The only constant', comes to mind..

    This piece addresses something very often not addressed, poetically or otherwise..
    we humans are into our habits...
    inside And out..
    I really enjoyed seeing this subject taken up, and quite effectively, too..
    I found this to be thought-provoking and also...
    kinda close to home as lately I am literally encountering folks I knew 40+ years ago whom I would not recognize whatsoever if I was not sure of who they are...and...they are having the same experience with me...there's a fair bit of staring going on all around..
    The good news is we still know each other's essences enough and are picking up where we left off pretty well...

    a technical note: To begin with a capital letter, and then to have no more capitals seems unbalanced...Probably no caps at all would produce better visual construction...
    and fluidity...
    good job with a difficult subject

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This was so emotionally real to the reader and I felt your thoughts run deep through this write, I could relate to as many others will. Friendships sometimes are complex where you move on, some are meant to last forever, and others come and go. But you learn how to survive and pick yourself back up, and that is the real strong message I received out of this piece. It was stirring and spoke to all the readers who have dealed with similar experiences.

    Thanks for sharing, keep writing as long as you can girl!

    MaryAnne

  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    I really enjoyed this write. I think you captured friendship very well, life is constantly changing, as are people, sometimes we grow apart and other times we grow closer even through distance and we don't even notice, it just comes naturally.

    Very nice job.