by Jessie
I think this could be very good, but it seems to me as if you left out words, or replaced them with words that don't make sense in that context. |
Thanks... :) |
by Mello193
Yeah what Jessie said and more. seemed like straight song lyrics, i think your overall sentence structure needs improvement, with some minor editing could be emotional. you should broaden your horizons with sentence structure, vocabulary and overall poetry, you have potential to be a great writer however. keep at it! |