You'll Never Know

Maybe if i tried
today
just one day
then id be on my way
to leave you be
leave you to see
my empty footsteps
which follow someone
who doesnt exist
is there an exit
for such an aethiest
but im not
i swear
i really do care
but does God know
that i want to go
and join him
long for him
to take my life
i dont want to grab that knife
for id fear
what id do
because id know id miss you
but you dont care 
im not here
id wish you knew
i wish i could tell you
but im afraid of you
you terrify me
cant you see
i just want to go
but youll never know
how bad i just want to go.