by Jack Nightengale Nov 17, 2010
category :
Sadness, depression /
lost relationships
I gave her my undivided attention at the start, |
by kmx210
Its a sacrifice only the strong of heart can make. if you are the soldier you speak of that i salute you. your metaphors improve with each chapter i read. beautiful thank you for the write |
by Dark Secrets
I see the connection between this chapter and the previous. This poem is a bit different; the first stanza flows well and all, but the next two fall a bit off rhythem... try reducing the size of each line and expressing more than one word in one word that says all. This one also has another flaw in it which is that your feelings aren't clear... you are telling the reader how you feel... you should be showing the reader. Close your eyes and feel your heart beat, the rhythem, your pain and describe it in all it's detail. |
Wow! This reminds me of my friend whos in the military. he has such a hard time keeping a girlfriend especially when he was in Iraq for two years.. |
by kelleyana
It's very hard to be away from the one we loved, but when situation put a barrier between us, with the power of our love, as long as it real and pure, a love that comes from the core of our soul. No distance can cannot separate the bond between two hearts. I enjoy my read, very touching. Well done, kel. |
by Lost Innocence
God..im so sorry...but its life and no one understand but the person its happening to...that make me mad:( |