Contemplation

I sit in the heat of the bath tub and stare at the miserable, murky water and want it to just swallow and drown me, to turn me into a water nymph, so I can stay in the water, so I can live in the sparkly water that shines like a light bulb when the petrifying stunning sun pierces the tip of my new under water home, I want to see beauty, not this vast wasteland of hate, crime, and pain, the feeling I feel right now is indescribable, it has hints of depression, regret, fear, and pure hatred toward those who think of me only as a worry and those people are my “parents.”