Optic Death and the Color Vision

Luanne, this is amazing. This piece wowed me. I love the wording and enjoyed this immensly. You have a good lay out and structure to this. It's beautiful. Well done on a fantastic piece.

Danika
-xx-

Luanne
I am in awe of this piece. I love Hellen Kellers quotes and her life story. She was an amazing person. I have always been inspired by her.

For she sees - without sight.
Believes - without seeing
"American English"
and the six dot visions,
her windows to the world -
-Her gift-

I love what you did with the challenge. This last stanza really sums it all up perfectly :)
Excellent job!
Love Cindy

I really love this poem as I think it was a perfect poem for the heat three. You have described American English in a way I didn't think was at all possible, yet you do this with such ease as your line flow from one to the other. Another thing is the imagery in this poem. I was carried away with your descriptions of everything and how it painted a picture for the reader to envision as they read the poem.

"Rooted to Mother Earth,
molding majestic sculptures
upon Father sky,
replenishing her spirit
with a virtuous sip -
from Nutura`s goblet
(She breathes)"

The opening stanza, my favorite stanza, was wonderful and it opened up nicely for the reader to really get into the poem. It was a quick grabber of attention I must say. Your word choice is wonderful and precise. This poem shows a lot of creativity and style. I really liked every bit of your poem. Great job and keep writing.

Lu,

I shall start again with some constructive critism. I found that when I read this I stumbled a bit, the first stanza was action packed with so many beautiful words that my brain couldn't keep up. I became tongue tied so to say. When I first began reading this poem I thought I wouldn't like this as much as I like your other one, but once I got past the first three lines I fell in love. I don't know why the first lines didn't grab me, they were clever and indeed magical but I felt as though there were too many if that makes sense. Too much to grasp, and I couldn't understand the first three lines until I read the entire poem which isn't a problem but I believe it may just be because I adored your other poem so much that it took so long for me to actually get into this one, after all I'm reading one after the other.

Nice work with using the alliteration of 'M' in the first stanza though, very nicely done.

You know I just went over the check out what this poem actually had to entitle. Very well done Lu, honestly. I am impressed. I assume the word 'Goblet' is from the pirate themed word, nice choice, it;s the only one I can think of actually that wouldn't make the poem sounds as though something is strangely wrong with it! You definitly did all that Abby asked in this poem and I believe that's why I found this poem to be different to your usual style.

"In the light - of darkness
offers her soul
with sincerity and silence.
Giving thanks and praise
upon bleeding knees
for gifts received."

This above though was you and I adored it. Reminded me of yin and yang, dark and light. Opposites attracting. A really gorgeous metaphor.

As I said I liked this poem a lot, especially the last two stanza's, but I know your writing style and while this had parts of you it had parts that you had to write in order to do well in the challenge and that's why It took me awhile to grasp. I read this poem 5 times and it really interests me, It has a lot of meaning and can be interpreted in different ways depending on how you uncover the metaphors and such.

Good work on completing the challenge, I am proud of you, you did so well!

-Mel

A lovely write. This piece had a very mysterious tone to it, i felt like I was reading about some sort of supernatural creature, beautiful and rare. Your words are very gentle and also well selected.

"For she sees - without sight.
Believes - without seeing"
- i love this bit here!

Overall, beautiful pen! Well done.