Caught up in my thoughts

Caught up in my thoughts
As I lay here,in bed
don't know what to do
It's all mixed up in my head

You say I can trust u
Is this true?
I could spill my heart out
But I think I'd still be blue

I'm looking up at my ceiling
But I have this feeling
Is this it for me in my life?
Always turning to my knife

I'm driving the people
I love the most away
Is this supposed to make it
Easier to stay?

A tear leaks down my face
And I know I will never feel the same
What am I doing here?
Life is not a game