Comments : The Dark

  • 13 years ago

    by Shay

    This is my first poem so I know that it's not that good but it would get better!!!Im sure...

  • 13 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Hello,

    I didn't really like it that much, but as you say, it's your first poem. It's not going to be Rudyard Kipling (by the way, if you want to get some inspiration 'If' is a grea poem, by Kipling. Alexander Pope is also a great master, in my opinion). I remember some of my first ones...boy, were they crap (some of my recent ones too, for that matter).

    First, there wasn't really a structure from what I could tell, and structure is key to getting a good flow.

    Secondly, it depends if you want to write rhyming poetry. Me personally, it has to rhyme.

    I will say one thing, though, the last two lines we the best. They rhymed, and were structurely sound.

    Hey, trial and error.

    Good luck with future works, dude.

    Peace out,

    Brad.

    P.S. Please comment and vote on every poem you read.

    P.P.S. Don't get sucked into this popularity contest people have going on here. Just because someone loves your work, doesn't mean you have to love theirs. Be honest.

  • 13 years ago

    by sibyllene

    Hey, congratulations on writing your first poem! Poems are a whole new form of expression, so don't worry if it takes some getting used to in the beginning. Certainly not all poems have to rhyme. Most of my favorite poems are non-rhyming, you just have to get a feel for words and how they can fit together to feel fresh and balanced.

    I think your poem here is a great place to start. Poems can be a wonderful way to work through fears or insecurities by taking something bad and turning it creative. When you create something, that's you putting some sort of control on your life. I'm glad you're taking that leap! Keep up with the writing!

  • 13 years ago

    by Ian Moone

    For your first poem its pre good! i liked it as the other ones said it takes time to get the feel for it and you will get it over time. keep on writing!

    -Syle