Wow. This was honestly brilliant. I do not care if it repeats itself just because I write poems that repeat themselves. I just love the words you used. Amazing job.
Keep writing.

Kisses!
-Hannah

Instantly I could see you were a talented writer. I thought your words were strung together brilliantly and I enjoyed reading it, but as you said at the bottom - it is jumbled, which makes it very difficult for it to flow, which hindered my enjoyment of it. Again, I thought the writing was brilliant, I just wasn't so keen on the structure.

Brad

P.S. Thank you for commenting on my poem 'Slave'.

P.P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every poem that you read.

You state you feel it's a "a bit jumbled", but I think that's exactly what it feels like when we are being crushed by the fingers of torment and sadness. "Sunlight penetrate... stop these wounds from bleeding in" gives emphasis to the entire work. Nice!