I asked god today

I asked for help
I cryed and cryed
I told him i need to protect me
To keep me away from harm
To stop me from poising myself
I am my worst enemy

The last 4 weeks my lifes changed
I cant slow down
I cant take a breath

I have to stop the hurting and drugs
What am i doing to myself?

I love my boyfriend so much
But what to do when the flashbacks hits?
I feel like the past is taking my life away
More than it already has

I need to be better
I dont want another hospital stay :(
I askede god to protect me
I asked god to save me from my empty self