Batman - A Day In The Life

Nocturnal like his furry friends,
Batman rises around dusk and as stars
begin sprinkling across the sky, his
beacon is lit.
Blinking at it irritably, he
stretches his arms above his head and
yawns a most heroic yawn, then
smacks his maw together in finale,
wincing at his grotesque morning breath.

Moseying on over to the bathroom in a lush
plum velvet bathrobe, Batman swigs some
mouthwash and swishes it
while popping a squat.
(Now that's what I call multi-tasking)
His cell phone vibrates in his pocket and he checks
caller ID, then grunts into the receiving end:
"Alright, alright, I'm on my way."

Back into the master bedroom,
Batman hums away absentmindedly
and opens his chifforobe,
unveiling endless rows of dry-cleaned
bat costumes and pretty blue capes.
Nonchalantly, he plucks one out, then
doffs his bathrobe and sits on the bed to
awkwardly stuff cold feet inside the leg holes.

A few shuffles and shimmies and Batman
contemplates that the Atkins diet isn't doing him
justice... suit's feeling a little snug today.

All set and ready to go! blueberry bagel and latte
in hand, Batman grabs his Batmobile keys off the
kitchen counter and heads out.
He makes it all the way down to the street before realizing he left his belt
on the dresser.

[Intermission]

Spilling some coffee on himself while shuffling
into the driver's seat, belt in place
(securing his sexy spandex pants),
Batman pops the key in the ignition and lets the
engine warm up before speeding off in

heroic glory.

It's another day in the life!