Crashing Down

by OddOne   Dec 10, 2010


This whole world is crashing down,
And as I scream I start to drown.
Twisted shrieks make an echoing sound,
As you realize your truly bound.

Far beyond this shattered world,
I lay in nothing, hurting, curled.
Cause living is just a daily chore,
Just don't want to feel no more.

This perfect world is dead and gone,
Hearts been shot through by Hate's gun
And as I thought the worst was through
My pain just grew...

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  • 13 years ago

    by Jess

    I Really Liked This Poem. When I Say I Like A Poem I Dont Lie. This Showed Honest And Raw Emotion, And Sometimes Thats What We Need In This World Of Screwed Up Sencless Lies. Although It Could Use Work, For A Beginner Writer, It Showed Potential. I Remember Wen I Just Started Writing On Here, And I Would Gewt Comments Saying "Could Use Work", Like I Just Told You. I Would Hate It, I Meen Absolutly Despice It. ..Then I Started Getting Better..And Better..And Better.. hen I Started Winning Contests And Getting Copyrighted. I Realized That When Somebody Tells Me My Poems Could Use Work To Keep Goin Back And Fixing It, Untill It Reached Perfection In My Mind. Then I'd Go Back And Ask That Same Person, "Is It Good Yet?" Then They Would Say Yes Or No, If It Was No, hen I'd Go Back Again And Keep Fixing It. Im Just Giving You A Little Advice;) Keep Up The Fabulous Work, Doll.
    -Jessi.

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