As im sitting here
The room closes in around me
Its getting harder to breath
I can feel my heart racing
I feel the cut i made
I fell the pain i did
I want to cry
But i remaind silent
I am scard
I miss my mom
I miss my dad
I wish they knew how much there girl needed them
I been many places
I hate this whole alone thing
I need to deal
I try to think back on happy positive times with my family
NOthing they did with me or to my was happy
The earlyest memorie was them hurting me
The lastest memorie was they killing me
I wish i could remember one time they loved me
It makes me cry
I just dont belong in this whole family thing
I feel myself taking to tom again
Is it just that i want someone to love me?
Is it the promisses he makes me?
He tells me hes never gonna leave and he will never hurt me am i starting to take to it?
I cant let this be another guy in my life
It cant be like befor
I still havnt gotten over it
I just dont want to mess up again
I still love joe more than anyone
But it was his time to go
He was more than a boyfriend
Also my best friend
Now theres someone new
Im taking to for all the wrong reasons
When im with him i think about joe and how much i loved him
Time has a way of distroying me
Taking everything i loved and made me happy and turning it to dark shadows
Im not sure why i cant be happy
Im not sure what is happing to me
So mixed up :(
