On I Must Go

by silvershoes   Dec 13, 2010


There I laid my weatherbeaten horse to rest
on a desert by the sea of final turnings,
as my crooked hand clutched at my chest,
and found I wandering at distant yearnings.

A hesitant gunshot to end my giant's pain,
passing glances toward the crashing waves,
whistfully stroked once more his scruffy mane,
to find me hunched in the rows of graves.

Last I found myself lulling through stones,
kicking up rocks in a frenzy of letting go,
my father had bronze flesh around his bones
that was warm and molded like living dough.

He held true to the ground with aging roots,
wrinkles that mapped out a lingering smile,
proud of the girl standing in her cowboy boots;
she had journeyed beside him for every mile.

'Daughter,' he said, 'Now you understand loss,
the power of hope and what winning can cost.
Someday I won't be here to watch you grow -
Someday I must stop, but on you must go.'

And in this spot, in these graves by the sea,
on a desert of ruin with my horse now expired,
long after my father, to his honest decree,
had stopped in his tracks; he had grown very tired -

I stood long and hard, my own roots digging in,
loss filling my eyes and tears filling my heart.
Then off in the shadows a light bloomed therein,
and quickly I remembered, we are never apart.

----
I chose to change the rhyming to aabb in the stanza that is a quote from my father since the voice was meant to be his and not mine.

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  • 13 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is so well written and very moving. The rhyme was so unforced I did not notice the scheme until I read the foot note

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    On I Must Go
    OMG...AMAzing job.
    I love love love love the title..it took my attention
    RIGHT away; and actually provoked
    many thoughts-untill I started reading.
    Yes you will always make me cry; but in a very
    good way; all your poems MUST have this
    emotional part; which shakes me..shakes me
    deeep deep inside..

    There I laid my weatherbeaten horse to rest
    on a desert by the sea of final turnings,

    ^^before I read your footnote; I thought
    the horse was your leader; well my imagination
    played but after I read what you wrote" it
    was way deeper and just much more touchy and
    wise. "I love the 1st couple of lines; not simple
    which gave me a good impression about how rich this will be.

    and found I wandering at distant yearnings.
    ^^
    mmm this is a line I truly can relate to.
    I love how you worded it; nice choice of words.
    distant yearnings is no bet thought provoking

    A hesitant gunshot to end my giant's pain,
    passing glances toward the crashing waves,
    ^^Jane; this is incredible and very deep.
    The imagination is of high quality; of that I am sure.
    here i had thoughts about tiresome..

    Last I found myself lulling through stones,
    kicking up rocks in a frenzy of letting go,
    ^^what I love about this; is how it drives us
    to think through the image to catch the feeling
    of your character rather than actually being told
    directly. Makes the poem enjoyable and I only
    had thoughts about someone almost losing hope
    or feeling
    fed-up

    He held true to the ground with aging roots,
    wrinkles that mapped out a lingering smile,
    ^^well age costs :) ..I love this. Very true , real
    and speaks beyond the image..SO we are supposed
    to take into consideration what's between the lines.

    proud of the girl standing in her cowboy boots;
    she had journeyed beside him for every mile.
    ^^^
    I took mile as years over here; growing up beside him (how lucky)
    and I bet he is proud.

    'Daughter,' he said, 'Now you understand loss,
    the power of hope and what winning can cost.
    ^^^this is one of the wisest things that actually
    you always manage to leave (every now and then)
    when you write a poem).

    Someday I won't be here to watch you grow -
    Someday I must stop, but on you must go.'
    ^^^this is where I had my tears covering my face;
    it's really deep Jane; and meaningful. holds
    a very strong message not only for you
    but for every one of us. Well at least we can
    learn from the other fathers "living" around.

    I stood long and hard, my own roots digging in,
    with loss in my eyes and tears filling my heart,

    ^^^goosebumps; more and more goosebumps..
    it was expected but very well; yes very well worded.

    but off in the shadows, a light bloomed therein,
    and I quickly remembered, we are never apart.
    ^^
    how impressing; glad his daughter did not forget the lesson.
    Such a very meaningful poem Jane.
    do you write these on purpose? lol my god..
    I laugh at myself sometimes.. but seriously
    it moved me; the second poem
    father-son-father=daughter thing ..

    well enough babbliiggg...thanks a LOT
    for sharing. I very well know how to "go on".
    But perhaps I forgot; thanks for reminding..

    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Jad

    I'm with Britt and I am not going to leave a massive comment as I found this poem to be straight from the heart. Very touching and said. I have never known but my dad but you seem to have a deep love for yours that I could only dream of. It is true though that we must go on even when those around us fall one by one. A very mature write to say the least. Great job and keep writing.

  • 14 years ago

    by sibyllene

    "There I laid my weatherbeaten horse to rest
    on a desert by the sea of final turnings,"

    "Last I found myself lulling through stones,
    kicking up rocks in a frenzy of letting go,"

    Wicked proof that rhyming poems can be inspired. You breathe life into this, and it's so sad and melancholy.

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