Definite marks for effort and technique, but I think the execution slightly got lost in translation. It started to feel like a sea of words, after a while, which is a shame, as one can clearly see that you've put a lot of thought and effort into this piece. As I say, I take my hat off to you for your experimentation and effort.

Brad

P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every poem that you read.

P.P.S. I hope you had a good Christmas and that 2011 treats you well.

........nevertheless profound.
Always working it out to make a point.
Everything out of purpose, for a purpose.
IS mastered.