Promises Of Sulfur

Nana, this poem really shows your talent and your creativity. I like the many images you incorporate into this poem with your imagery. It really shows a good touch of poetic imagery, which I find useful as it gives the reader images to see in his/her head as they read the poem. The flow of the poem was spot on and couldn't have been better. The structure was well thought out and went right with the flow not hindering it. The message of this poem was really deep and there was a lot to read in between the lines in this poem.

"Reminiscing a glowing moon that I
once saw pierced like a pearl in the
heart of the deep dimness,
bright flames that long ago I walked
underneath, but can no longer remember
the way it used to caress my skin with
its golden wings, whenever I sat at
the foot of the suns' forehead"

This was my favorite stanza as it gave an in depth meaning to each line and I feel like it was able to give a good message out with what it had to say. Also the imagery in this line is great as well. I found this to be that one really strong stanza to give the poem it's raw beauty.

Overall, I found this poem to be very beautiful and once again sad but then again most of my poems are sad too. You have amazed me once again with your wonderful talent. Great job and keep writing.

I loved the opening, really gives the reader a hopeless feeling as they are standing on something that is falling apart, making one lose hope as they are about to fall. I was uncertain where you were going with the second stanza, I couldn't really grasp what you meant. Loved 'suns' forehead', for some reason that seemed really unique to me. Hm, loved the ending, you actually state that there is still hope although you are standing on crumbling clouds... which makes one feel hopeless but you still have hope. Awesome write, definitely original and something the reader can really enjoy.

Nana
So full of sadness. Excellent imagery and word choices allow the reader to invision what you are seeing as you write.
Great job!
Love Cindy

I like the lay out and use of words. It's different and well written. You penned your emotions well. It really stood out to me. Ecellent flow. Well done.

Danika

There are so many touching stanzas in this write I don't know which to pick. It unfolded like a story where sadness just keeps afloat..moving write..take care.