It sounds like you lost a best friend. I'm so sorry--i hope you can still find some warmth somewhere.

OH! MY! GOD!
This is wonderful! Beautiful saddness, grief, beautiful darknesss. I just love the way you reflect how you feel without saying it by words, but by rflecting it through expressions and images.

the way you decided to organize the word choice is just VERY smart of you.
I was really really impressed by:

Drifting...

reposee...I mean the way you lined them in a way to related with the words before, yet to flow in such an amazing manner.

This is so so beautiful oh how i wish I could nominate this fantastic work!

---

. The wellspring of warmer dreams and obstinate laughter. I feel...safe? No, but almost. So, why....

Ruin....

The ugliness
^^^

like Waw! How deep, such a philosophy !
sadness, depression....almost hopeless

as if so helpless and lost, unable to accept this loss, not even to understand the reason behind losing him...

Did he die in my darkness....his small and tender light snuffed out by these demons?
^
this also was really well penned.

you are a great writer, it's just awesome.

This really is a very clever write, with a really unique feel to it.
All the best,
Ben