this is what i feel when i look at you
and it should not be this way
nothing ever changes; it's always the same
every single day
you don't even know who i really am
or how bitterly empty i feel
never assured that i have someone
to strengthen and comfort me
how can you of all people
call me out of my name?
when. all those years ago
you did the very same?
i just don't understand
nor do i see
you say you want what's best
but deep, down you don't really love me
it's there in your eyes
packed away, trying to hide
but tht's fine...
i don't care what you think
so why don't we drop the act
and just end it all;
i hate you
and you want me gone
but you chose the easy way out
hit me, i cry
belittle me, i feel pain
isolate me, i mourn
for the things i want so badly
the things i long for
until one day
i decide it's not worth it
then you'll find me on my bathroom floor
with candles brightly lit
a razor in my hand
and blood on my wrists
then you'll be sorry
then you will cry
no, maybe you'll rejoice
at seeing me die
because this is what you wanted
all the years long
through the tears, the beatings, and the verbal abuse
you couldn't wait to have me gone
maybe I'm getting ahead of myself
hopefully I'm wrong
maybe you were right
and it was me all along
what if I'm wrong again
then who is to blame
who is responsible
for this havoc life i claim?
what difference does it make
it all comes down to this
I'll grow up years from now
mourning the childhood i missed
