Things I Never Said...

There's a lot of things I've never told you,
and this is the start of those thoughts.

When I have a nightmare and wake up sweating,
I still feel as if your arms embrace me to calm me.

When I see couples holding hands and smiling,
I still think of how it used to be when I looked at you.

When I'm feeling lonely and unsure of what to do,
I still hear you telling me everything will be okay.

When the world seems to be crashing in on me,
I think about what happened that day and I fall hard.

When I think about all the awful things I said and did to you,
it seems like the guilt takes over my whole mind, body and soul.

When I think about the caresses and kisses so sweet,
I remember the taste of your lips on mine and your touch.

When I realize what I did and the reality it's caused,
all I do is hope you're happier than I ever come make you.

But when I really sit and think about things that happened,
one thing runs through my head as if you said it yesterday.

"If our love is meant to be, maybe, we'll be together in the future,"
but I know it probably won't happen no matter how much I wish.

Now as I'm writing this to you; heart breaking and tears falling,
I know you'll never read it, so it's just another hopeless wish.