Comments : My fears, consuming

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    A short piece but still very powerful. I liked how you kept the poem short yet managed to say all you needed to say.

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Aure

    Very strong poem, you capture the reader and leave him wondering why.

    Just this part could use some polishing I think
    So tired of being scared
    I'm losing myself

    It's not as strong as the rest of your poem however it may be your main emotion here.

  • 13 years ago

    by My Name Is Mouse

    Another good read.
    But I agree with britt TC to change the title, perhaps, as it was the first line you used in this poem, and it didn't leave much to the imagination knowing what has already been, after reading the first paragraph.

    Also, the last paragraph could have a line left between;
    Death, my sweet oh peaceful bliss
    AND.
    I found my way out.

    And another word could be added between 'I' and 'found'.

    Got it all off my chest now.
    Well done, though.

    - Mouse