Just Another [Second Version]

by DeafBeats   Jan 12, 2011


Just another lonely night
Soaking up the ghostly moon
Casting shadows on a pretty face
Back to a familiar room

Just another party out
Minds dosed with fixations
Exchanging fake smiles,
And lustful temptations

Just another flirtatious phrase,
Temporally feeding the soul
A moment that dampens the air,
Warning signs for self-control

Just another singles delight
An embrace to fill the emptiness inside
Heat strikes at every breath,
From the pleasures the other provides

Just another routine for sexual satisfaction
Pounding into one another till bodies content
Clutching, greedy for personal security,
Yet never knowing what kissing meant

Just another lie you tell yourself
While you slip within a hostile dream,
Shock freezes over your aching heart
Defeated by your own delusive scheme

Just another stupid game
Determined to rummage inside their head
Impossible to keep track of one's desires,
An amusement that ends with dread

Just another sweet face,
That doesn't come with a name
Ashamed with a tint of regret and guilt,
You only have yourself to blame

Just another endless mistake,
The one you've been at too long
Waking up to an empty bed,
Like a stinging silence at the end of a song

Just another ...
Just another one-night stand

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Scoria Luciel

    This poem flows nicely and has an unexpected ending. I also like your choice of words and images.

  • 13 years ago

    by The Queen

    Up for a nomination definitely :)

    However I have some observations to make. First, I was distracted by the random capitalizations. I understand it might by indications that the last line has ended. I think some punctuations would be of great help (full stop). Otherwise if you were avoiding punctuations in your poems might as well just capitalized the beginning lines of each stanzas. Just my opinion though :)

    Also, I think you missed out a comma here.

    ^Impossible to keep track of (ones) one's desires

    Other than that, you did a fantastic job. Loved the wonderful presentation of these thought-provoking words.

    Good job!

  • 13 years ago

    by Aure

    I absolutely love this poem, like the rest of your work I've read. It has great flow and words that keep haunting your head a long time after reading.

    Just one little typo:
    at the end if a song
    --> at the end of a song

    But aside from that there is little (or no) room for improvement.

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    I fell in love with this poem and I will be adding it to my favorites.

    You chose a simple title yet the content of the poem showed the workings of a mature mind.

    "Just another lie you tell yourself
    While you slip within a hostile dream,
    shock freezes over your aching heart
    Defeated by your own delusive scheme"

    ^ that was in my opinion the best stanza as I related to it. It shows how we all can lie to ourselves when things are bad even if the bad is a result of our own doing

    5/5

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