Deana,

I loved this piece because of the dream like atmosphere you created. It was sincere in the way it touched my heart, bittersweet. I found as though I was reading a childrens story or a lullabye, one with wisdom behind it & i've read this poem four times now and each time I get to the last line I get a twinge in my heart, sympathy for this unicorn.

This poem is like a metaphor to me, one for broken dreams, and the idea of a unicorn carrying your dreams however his wings are broken, that reinforces the idea.

The unicorn reminded me much of a puppy, that one puppy dog who you grow up with, who loves you unconditionally and who do anything for you, I believe that is why I found this poem to be similar to a childrens story one where you are meant to learn a lesson.

The emotion turned this poem into a little gem and I love it. The only thing I could suggest is the fact each line doesn't need to be capitalized.

Beautiful Deana! loved it.

First of all this piece melted my heart right away..

Whispered words of beauty
To the waiting horizons
As you danced...
At the edge of the sea

^
That stanza was my fav... It stood out tp me
Because you can't believe the beautiful image I got in my mind
Like this little. bailerina dancing near a sunset so carless..so lost in her own..

If I'd have to pick a poem to define the word
Precious.. This would be it.

very well done my darling..~

In the days of old...
When unicorns carried your dreams
Let you down lightly
In clover filled meadows

^^
Lovely image you created here, although I somehow feel "letting"would be better than "let"?

I adore clover filled meadows, they are a metaphor for pure happiness to me:)

Whispered words of beauty
To the waiting horizons
As you danced...
At the edge of the sea

^^
Another beautiful image: a young girl dancing in anticipation of a life filled with romance and andventure..yes, I can still recall that feeling!!!

Before your heart lie in pieces
On the floor of reality
And butterflies were out of reach
When the rivers turned to ice

^^
"lie" should be "lay"I feel..

I can see this woman standing there, eyes filled with disbelief and cold harsh reality taking hold of her senses..:(

In the days of old
When unicorns carried your dreams
You were unaware...
That he flew with broken wings.

^^
We cannot truly see those wings until we do, eh? But be glad for having felt the magic of its presence;)

A beautiful poem, Deana. You don't write often, but when you do it is always well worth the time it takes to read it:)

5/5 Ingrid

I like the quality and topic alongside with the way the poem was formed/written. Good work. Should it maybe be "lies" or "lays" instead of lie?

I think you did a great job with this poem you really created an atmosphere and I fell in love with each line you wrote. There was something sweet and gentle about this poem as a whole

5/5

Deana
It seems so long since I read one of your verses. This is just beautiful.

Before your heart lie in pieces
On the floor of reality
And butterflies were out of reach
When the rivers turned to ice

You have painted such a vision for the readers mind. Letting them take each step of this poetic journey with you.
Excellent job!
Love Cindy

In the days of old...
When unicorns carried your dreams
Let you down lightly
In clover filled meadows

^ "Let" kinda threw me off here, I will have to read it a few more times, otherwise great work D. I really like the ending and enjoyed the imagery and kind of melancholy feeling behind the piece.

I am glad that the one i read after a long time from you..is this one. This is really beautiful. Has lot of emotions, used perfectly.
Last stanza is mindblowing and makes you read it all over again and again.
Great write friend :)

I loved this, especially the last line. Fantastic write.

Dave.

Never getting enough of this.

Great imagery in this piece, brilliantly written.

Well done i cant wait to see more