I have the blade

I have the blade.
I'm staring.
Still wondering if anyone is caring.
Trying to think positive.
Always going negative.
Feels like falling.
Want to start bawling.
Feel like there is no more reason to live.
All I do is give and give.
Life is hard and I cant see the floor.
I don't know if I can take much more.
Id love to be happy and carefree.
But when will I ever see the real me?
My life is a lie, I don't know whats real and whats not.
I just want to be free of all that is lost.