anti depressant,
anti depressed,
anti Me,
I've always depended on me,
now i have to depend on pills,
I'm afraid,
i admit it,
I'm scared of what ill do,
the side effects may cause these feelings to smash together and make them bigger and stronger,
and that may kill me,
what if i like the pain?
the feeling of hopelessness?
id rather hurt than feel nothing at all,
that's what these pills will do to me,
ill feel nothing,
i wont be me,
ill be there version of me,
the PILLS version of me,
who am i anyway?
not dead,
not quit human,
the cuts woke me up,
they reassured me,
the blood meant i was human,
the pain mad me awake,
but i kept slipping back into it,
the monster keeps coming for me,
i seem to drown in my head,
every suicidal thought adds more water,
I'm drowning in my own mind,
sometimes someone saves me,
pulls me out of the dark waters so i can breathe,
but it doesn't last,
they let me fall and i always seem to go deeper each time.
