Lydia's Gait

There was a whimsical essence to this poem that I really enjoyed.

"Cleansing lament's leavings
With sentiments as souvenirs"
^The alliteration here was great! It felt so naturally and flowed off my tongue when I read it out loud. It added a nice touch to the whole poem.

"Tousle my hair with daisies
In fields of gathered green
Dress myself in mossy oak
After bathing in Tilla's stream"
^Great use of imagery! I love the whole "one with nature" vibe here. Your choice of words were flawless to set the nice.

I liked how you left the ending as kind of a cliffhanger with nothing certain. Leaves it to the reader to interpret it however they please. I love poetry like that because it allows the person to see themselves in the words.

Nicely done!

I really enjoyed reading this. The language is very exotic, and the images are crisp and vivid. The scenery you present feels like it came right out of the tales of Robin Hood.

As for critique,
"For what is was and will be"
I think this line needs a couple of commas:
"For what is, was, and will be"
Or possibly change it to:
"For what once was and might well be"

Also, the meter is inconsistent throughout this lovely piece. If you worked on the meter a bit, it would improve the flow, and this poem would be even more extraordinary. :)

Kay
Again your pen has worked wonders. This is such a gem :) I'm so glad I got to read this.
Love Cindy

A well written piece, but I think it was a little too abstract for me, too wide. However, I did like your use of language, and the way you played with your words. My favourite stanza has to be the third, because I felt it had the strongest rhythm.

Brad

P.S. Thank you for commenting on my poem 'Not How Things Are Supposed To Go'.

P.P.S. PLease comment and vote honestly on every poem you read.