Ostentatiousunrise

Ya i know i have commented this before..and got a praise ;) lala..but wanted to see wat's new..alas u know the rest.

K, so i too love the smell of gun powder and mint.

write a new piece,
lol :)

Damn, I miss summer. Can't wait! I can feel the heat and summery-ness of the rising sunlight emanating from your poem. Could be because I'm watching season 1 of River Monsters, but I imagine you in your Pippy-Longstocking get up (overalls and hair in half-hazard pigtails), paddling out backwards in a white canoe toward the sunrise, and turning abruptly to admire it.
Cool. Nice.
Ooh.

I love this poem..well I love everything that's related to the sun ( obviously Xd) however

your opening line was interesting, which made reading the rest of the poem a must..
I was fond of the word choice, and the placement of the words..

I think you have used extremely beautiful expressions..
however

your 3rd line is a bit confusing..
dripping up ??
if you don't mind review that line or this part..I may be wrong, but seems like there is something incomplete..
if am wrong; then excuse me..thought should point it out.

and those white fingered trees is the sun, looking
completely electric grapefruit, dazzling nectarine,

^^
wonderful image, thought provoking words..
inspiring!! I am in love with this imagination

sliding like a shocked egg yolk up into the sky,
^^You may disagree but..you already started shocked at the very 1st line of your poem, and since it's a tiny verse it would be better to use a different word here ?
_Both cases, this line is striking and I just love the way you imagine things, and the way your words pass it on for me..(as a reader)..

The rest of the poem was just perfectly written, all in harmony, the closing word actually had this nice effect..

Keep writing
5/5