AMAZING.

Not going to say anything else but...

Five plus nomination from me :)

You are truly making me proud Temps! I'm glad I was able to see your growth as a poet.

There was no need to follow the link you have left. You painted with your words enough imagery to leave the reader deciding what the image is. Absolutely stunning. You have done a wonderful job.
I have read some of your poetry and you have definitely grown as a poet. You are doing an outstanding job, keep it up.

As for critique, I am just not sure about the insertions of semicolons in poetry, it seems that a comma would be just as effective. It was eye catching in the first stanza and it just kind of hangs out there at the end. It is to my understanding that semicolons are to be used to join two independent clauses with no connecting words. ( I could be wrong and often am )I know you used another one but it wasn't as obvious.

Again, a wonderful write from you.

-Kay

Simply creative and and colorful and so easy to picture. I really was taken away with your beautiful words and how you described everything around you. I really liked this the first time I read it and I am still taken away by it now. You were so creative in your writing of your poem. the message was great and also the feelings you put in the lines is easy to see. The poems itself flowed very nicely and I loved the neat structure.

I couldn't figure out which part of the poem I liked best so I just said forget it. lol But seriously you have some great metaphors in your lines that are very powerful and also capture the readers imagination, causing one to think.

In all, you have a thought provoking poem to put it simple. Your words are carefully chosen as always and you are growing in both your maturity of writing and also understanding the key essential things in poetry that makes a poem strong! :] Can't wait to see how your future poems turn out! Great job and keep writing!

I read a poem from you after a long time & realized what i must have missed all these times... :)

Though the whole poem was brilliant but for me...first stanza was simply mindblowing.

Great write.

all the best and take care

Ah, I understand your words, Temps. How you feel the thoughts just evaporate when you try to get something down on paper, because the feeling is no longer there and you get all confused about which direction to take from then on...it sucks, big time:(

Well done on giving a voice to what is in your heart.

5/5 Ingrid