Fictitious Consciousness

by Sunshine   Feb 24, 2011


My eyes can no longer embrace
staring at the vividness of this
laborious void.
Sick of the hollow whistles
flouting the ties among
prejudice, and tinted
innocence that's wearing
both robs of these
walking sculptures.

Like crumbling walls, they are
covering the liberty allover
the orb, and I stand there
pending on the pools of
life's misfortunes, waiting
for a real model
to step into my life.

By: Rania Moallem

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  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    Nana, to simply put this, you tore me into pieces with this poem. I know how much this can hurt and your words stab into my hurt with truth that I end up wanting this poem to go one forever so I can feel my emotions being poured out in someone elses poem. You just don't really how much this affected me and I think you may have given me inspiration to write a poem! :] Your poem flowed smoothly and I love how you held a strong message in the lines.

    I couldn't find one stanza out of the two that I liked the most but I will say that they are both very powerful in both message and also truth and lastly emotion!

    In all, I think this poem got the most emotion out of me from all your other poems. I have been lied to soo much and I know every little emotion that you wrote in this poem and I was touched deeply. I hope you continue to write like this. Simply beautiful! Great job and keep writing. :]

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