Madison

by Lisa   Feb 26, 2011


I need her like my next breath
she was My New Year's baby,
my sorrow had a great death
didn't imagine I'd have a girl, a boy maybe,

What peace I have
I found it in her smile,
the happiness, I grabbed
She makes life worth while,

Now that I have a kid
I had to grow up,
Now selfishness, I forbid
even though parenthood is rough.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Honestly, it just felt...plain. There was no zest in it. The rhymes were average, the rhythm felt slow, and the wording had no spirit.

    I know this seems harsh, and believe me, i hate to be harsh about anyone's work, but I just feel this piece needed a lot of work.

    On the plus side, I wasn't disrespectful. And if I said your work was perfect, you'd have nothing to work on.

    Anyway, sorry if you've taken offense.

    Brad

    P.S. Please comment and vote honestly on every poem that you read.

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