Such a simple title but right off the bat I could tell it held an immense amount of power.

"I glide along moonlit seas
beneath the swollen moon,"
^I don't like the repetition of moon here although it was in different words...it didn't flow right when read aloud to me.

"while I swallow its remains
in muddled passion "
^LOVED this! The description was flawless.

Short yet profound. I'm sure many can relate to the emotion of being fragile and hopeless. You expressed this common occurrence with quite some originality which made it refreshing to read, well done!

Five.

"I glide along moonlit seas
beneath the swollen moon,
arched; limp with sorrow,"

Strong opening and gives that feeling of remorse- that even the brilliantly lit ocean by the moon cannot contain such sorrow....I like your use of arched and limp... it took further into imagining that sense of being crooked and awry in life, that sometimes you glide but there is still something amiss. I didn't mind when reading, of course your poem Temps, the "moonlit" and "moon"....I have done this many times and I still felt it was strong.

"for love's departure
leaves me tongue-tied,
while I swallow its remains
in muddled passion"

Beautiful flow, this is touching though, how your few words captivate a loneliness you are experiencing. "muddled passion" was powerful- what else to say? Unique perspective, it just soothes me for some reason, your descriptions portray that ability.

"alas clipping wings of faith
while I fade into a hushed psalm;
beauty bestowed yet strength
...gone."

Nice addition of 'alas' and "clipping wings of faith" was something really striking to me- hearing that is more depressing, like all you hoped for and built upon these feathers and wanting to soar, is falling apart as you tear and jag those pieces. Second line gave a bit of mystery, I like your tone here, that 'hushed psalm' is quite majestic itself.

The last line leaves me wondering and just overall feeling full of that last emotion to hold onto.

Not much else to say- I truly find great meaning in a lot of your shorter ones Temps, they hold so much and I find relations myself.

God bless you and Mary keep you!

What a short powerful write! Such creative images... I liked the ending ....it was almost heartbreaking...how you go into a psalm..yet there is no strenght... :(.. Well done!!!

I'm with Yaki, this was such a small write but it held some really strong emotions in it and also a powerful message. I love the simplicity of this entire piece and how it is so easy to relate oneself to the words you have spoken. The emotions in this piece also bring the poem to life and so do the visualize you use. It was as if you were painting a picture and then crushing emotions into the lines of the paint. Very beautiful.

"alas clipping wings of faith
while I fade into a hushed psalm;
beauty bestowed yet strength
...gone."

Talk about a ending to a poem that takes me out. I love the way you refer to your powerlessness to that of a bird with its wings clipped. Nice thought in there and also very thought provoking. I like this poem from the very first line to the last.

In all, you are doing a great job in putting a lot of message and emotions into short pieces and still getting a good message across and also holding the readers attention. Very mature writes that speak of things that so many people have to go through. Don't ever stop writing and keep your head up! Great job and keep writing.