Waning
by Sunshine Mar 16, 2011
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Behind the outworn branches, a white stream declares the rouse of day break. My surroundings emerge steadily from darkness and breathe in some light.. I linger with my pupils once again over the ceiling and the walls that I have come to know better than my own features and corners. As I play the waning corpse game, seldom do cold breezes sneak from the crumbling edges of my window curious to inquire if I still exist.. and I have to admit that at times, I don't distinguish anymore. |
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13 years ago
Wasn't too fond of the repetition of walls in the second stanza, but aside from that everything was written with true emotion. You have some nice imagery here. Loved the usage of 'rouse' I don't hear that around a lot. You packed so much into such a small poem. This poem kind of has mixed feelings to me, a little bit of happiness and some sadness. You did a pretty nice job!
