Dreamcatcher.

by Courageous Dreamer   Mar 18, 2011


You're a loose web, worn,
fastened to the curved moon;
yet I still wish
upon you
within my loneliest hours
my greatest weakness,

my defeat.

You snare my heart,
and like thunder
of a retreating storm,
I hang from sacred memories
with hope for a better tomorrow
where wasps are devoured at dawn
as canaries nestle within,

for you are all I wish to ever

dream of.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    Another amazing write!! I love the title, I don't think I've ever heard of a love interest descrined like this. Definitely original and unique.
    Take care

  • 13 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This is a beautiful poem to read. It has lots
    of passion and emotion to it...it was from the bottom of your heart which made this poem have a voice! A lovely read :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I loved the whispers in this, the beautiful summer wind that drifts in and manages to murmur so passionately. Truly you words touched me- and I love to read a moving love poem, your structure was neat too, like how you arranged separation to emphasize points and thoughts of importance. Beautiful, striking, I just love your portrayals here, they bring something new each time. A title worth capturing.

    Thank you for your sweet comments and continuous support, it made my week, been a tiresome one!
    Love,
    MaryAnne

  • 13 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    Now,this is I would say elegant! Omg I adore dreamcatchers...
    I must say,your wording was creative....the pauses were perfect...and the ending..its kinda melancholic...you know :p ...

    You're a loose web, worn,
    fastened to the curved moon;
    yet I still wish
    upon you
    within my loneliest hours
    my greatest weakness,

    This is my favorite,because its so captivating....its a lovely opening ..those you often find...that make you keep on reading!
    Nice job :')

  • 13 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Temps,

    I liked this but I also liked the other version I read in pm, I can't decide which of the two I like better. This is better written technically, but the other seemed to hold more emotion when reading. I guess i'm torn. As for the poem itself and the concept I adored it, it was bittersweet.

    Nice little use of alliteration within 'web, worn' it kept rolling off my tongue as I got futher into the poem because it was again found with 'wish' and 'wasps'

    The only thing I could suggest is the fact you used wish twice within the poem, it isn't a problem but we already got the understanding of the connection between wishes and your lover in the first stanza, I felt it wasn't need to reinforce the idea, even though I love the ending.

    Overall a lovely poem as usual.

    -Mel.

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