Yaki, this is incredible. It touched me deeply and made me cry. You described the profound loneliness in such a cutting way. The imaginary is flawless and very it's very well laid out. Love is a rare but beautiful thing and sometimes, it hurts, hurts in ways we never thought possible. This is quite literally amazing and I wouldn't change a Thing. Brilliant.

Danika
-xx-

Beautiful yet a lot of pain can be found in your words. This seems to be a common feeling felt by many who've parted ways with someone they loved.. we wonder if they still think of us or not. You've expressed this really well. You told it exactly how it was, nicely done!

Yaki,

You always touch my heart and this was no exception. I adore that you incorporate all the aspects needed to make a great poem into your pieces. You use emotion with is stunning and grasps my attention first. I adore your tone, it is always sincere in your writings, sweet, elegant and inspirational.

The way you write of love is far more beautiful then most people your age can comprehend. The heart break of it is something I actually felt.

"for half a second hold me close again.."

I think this should be just one full stop after again, it gives more of a punch when it's ended like that rather than trailing off. The trailing off effect you have used in other sections of the poem is wonderful however and I loved it.

Overall a beautiful piece where I cannot pick a favorite. Your work melts my heart.

-Mel.