I'm staring at this upside down reflection,
drowning in my undefined rejection.
This girl I see with a messed up head,
is she alive, is she dead?
Is she gonna make it? Will she ever break free?
Is she gonna be OK? Do you see that she was me.
She was me till I changed, until i disappeared.
I was replaced by broken promises, consumed by haunting fears.
I'm looking at her standing there, her emotionless eyes portraying so much sadness.
she's smiling but I know she's dieing, captivated by this madness.
Look at all the tears she's shed,
is she alive or is she dead?
Is she really whole. Is she truly there?
She's been drowning in indecision, forgetting how to care.
The unforgettable moments and long lost memories.
They're hidden and drenched in a new line of tragedies.
One thing's for sure she's fighting herself,
She's weak, she's strong, she's a woman, she's a girl.
All the things she never said,
is she alive or is she dead?
She's not really standing at the mirror but floating in a sea of deep confusion.
Somehow she's always winning but she's always losing.
She takes a drink from the cup of understanding,
Now she knows life is cruel, unwanting and demanding.
She's been standing at that mirror, that alternate reality,
standing for so long, see's things the world will never see.
Just look at all the blood she's bled.
Is she alive or is she dead?
Her imaginary wounds are bleeding more heavily, her icy eyes freezing over.
She's looking at her hateful reflection, that selfish cow that owns her.
Understanding that you'll never know, you'll always be kept in the dark.
Haunting you with a melody of a devious destructive laugh.
She looks at the girl and again becomes whole,
she pulled herself together, body and soul.
She goes to sleep while wide awake, and breathes with no breath left.
So tell me now, my imaginary self is she alive, or is she dead?
M <3z JP
