Father

Wow!!! Nana this poem is SOOO touching and beautifull.... So heartbreaking... and honestly your words are just so well chosen...

I love the idea of looking at a photograph and thinking about that exact moment... and the comparison you made to please strangers! amazing!

I LOVED the last stanza... it is definitely my favorite and I think it was the most touching and strongest one!

Beautiful! Congratulations darling, you deserve it!

Heart breaking ya Nana. I like how you began it with ''Father'' like you're addressing him directly. I liked the confused questioning tone as well, as if you're asking for his help; his answers. as if you wanted to understand. Childhood and past are such touchy subject and this just tugs on the strings of my heart my heart.

perhaps one suggestion

''that each once and another I drag''

maybe ''every now and then'' would sound better?

--

also here..

''Father,
have I disregarded my childhood
resting between your hands,
once upon a time...
or is it still struggling demise
with you?''

I was thinking perhaps tightening the lines would give it more strength?

like ''Father,
have I disregarded my childhood
between your hands,
or is it still struggling demise
with you?''

Each time I read this it holds even more emotion than the time before. It was a great idea to address the recipient of your poem here, it makes it much more personal.

The first stanza really hit me, to me it makes me feel like your childhood was the most painful part of your life because you lost someone you never got to meet yet know they are still with you in spirit. I bet he would have loved it very much if you would have been able to meet him.

'Perhaps I have forgotten you both' is so heartbreaking, as well as the questions asked and the very ending line, which I believe you should make stand alone, although it has so much power already.

It's really sad to see how family is supposed to be some of the closest people in our lives and in our hearts yet something happens and we are separated whether it be a dispute of some sort or a death. It's really tragic.

You've penned a lot of emotion here, a huge release for you I'm sure. Lots of curiosity in your words again, one can't help to wonder of the unknown. You only have photos for memories. This is just so heartbreaking... brings a tear to the eye. Although most can't connect to the poem to the very last detail, with the emotion.. you feel you live this life the author speaks of and you've went through the same thing although really you have not. You really tugged on my heart strings. This was so beautifully sad.

Now....Y u do dis to me Rania?D:
You see,now that you've shaken every thing in my being...
Given me goose bumps.....you give me this....this I myself have lived....in my own skin,I myself...know what it feels like...I myself relate to every single world in this poem...and I myself...burst into tears reading this....you can't keep doing this to me....this is pure magic...pure emotion..pure poetry...you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days...

My heart goes out to you, for having to have missed out on a father...to have a strong man that is there for you, to protect you and advice you is so important.

If I could I would use magic and make your life perfect, Nana..if only I could.

how I fell in love with a photo
that each once and another I drag
from between the neglected box
of my childhood pebbles;
that lays under my bed.
Perchance one day, you both return to me.

^^
This is so heartbreaking for a mother( like me) to read..

*hugs*

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