I carried you across
aching months of devastation,
ranging from restless tears
to the empty disappointment.
I could never confess,
never fully speak of my sin
but I need to release my fears,
isn't that what you would want?
Honey, I always knew
who you were,
my child, protected inside.
Why did I let them take you?
More importantly,
why did I do nothing?
I want to see you
more than my own life,
these mornings I thought
I wanted to be "normal"
are meaningless without
the cry of a earthly gift-
a miracle in great growth.
Please forgive me,
I embraced the wrong idea,
I needed relief, thinking
to let go and rid myself
of your shaking
would somehow save me.
God is with you isn't He?
How I wish to join you both,
so loving, so innocent.
But right now I think
I am being called
to help other women
strive to protect life-
no more lies or fear,
they will be in more
truer arms.
All along,
you were and are waiting
for my entrance into Love.
