His hawk eyes saw into me;
tore a hole within my heart -

*I loved these two lines. Very vivid and emotional. I could feel every ounce of it. Great imagery throughout the piece, almost forgot it was a love poem with all the nature lol. But I am glad I read this. I have read a good rhyming poem in awhile. But this one was golden. Hope to read more from you. -Nik*

Jane doing rhyme? I like. I thought the first stanza was class. It has a nice rolling rhythm, and enough uniqueness (sheep, spanish moss" to keep it from being bland. It reminded me of an opening stanza on some old Irish poem. (That's a good thing.)

I liked your rhyming in the third stanza. It can't be easy to find something that rhymes with "birches!" Your match rhymed, but didn't seem forced.

The only part I thought was confusing was the last 2 lines of stanza 2. You needed the commas to organize what you were saying - and it sounds like maybe it was a complicated sentiment to be expressing in those line constraints - but I can't figure out what they are trying to say.

That was the only thing I wasn't sure about, though. I also liked the apple slice in a shadowed land. "Shadowed land" has some real nice assonance, and I keep saying it.

His hawk eyes saw into me;
tore a hole within my heart -
now here, love, in the aftermath,
I wonder, is at last a losing art?

Beautiful and deeply moving stanza I can relate to that.

The morning dew hangs limply
on gnarled bark of birches,
and each time a droplet falls,
the hollow in me lurches.

This one reflects a deeply felt longing, of someone amiss. Could not have been expressed any better.

Am such a good luck..see when i say WINS..then a poem should LOL ;) Congratulations and well deserved, I am sure you very well know by now how i feel bout this poem:)

well deserved

Congrats on the win first and foremost! I loved your tone throughout this piece, the flowing rhyme that created its own definition. Your words soared! Great structure and imagery playing in my mind, so well deserved!

God's blessings always...
~MaryAnne

Simply beautiful.

What a lovely piece. Congrats on your win :)
Take care
Cindy

Good

Amazingly well done 5/5 P.S. I miss your face ;)