I loved the way you touched me, held me.
I loved the feeling I got when we were close, during a hug, or kiss.
My stomach would rage with butterlies, I felt as if I were a little girl crushing on the boy across the room.
But I wasnt....
I was in love with you.
We had everything, happiness, care... everything we needed.
I want you to know, that you still make me happy although all the reasons that should make me not.
Even though you've murdered my heart,
murdered my self-esteem,
murdered all trust...
I still love you with all of my heart.
I would return to you in a heart beat,
no matter how much it hurt,
we can make it through,
i know.
Promise me one thing,
do not hurt yourself,
do not take your life,
was I not worth to live?
Was I not good enough of a motive for you?
"I love you more than anything."
Does that mean I am worth living for?
Tell me,
that you miss me,
that you want me,
that you'd do anything for me,
that you will love me,
promise me,
that you will take care of me,
that you wont lie to me anymore,
that you wont hide anything from me anymore,
Because I cannot handle this.
I've wanted to end my life again
and even told you,
but you only told me to stop talking
about it.
Now you tell me that you want to end yours?
I would not dare to tell you to stop talking!
I want to hear everything that makes you feel that way.
I want to know why you dont want to stay.
Is it me?
Let me know,
I would change for you.
...even though you wouldnt try... or change... for me.
I would go to you
-right now-
and pour these words onto your front porch,
till it floods your floors,
and everywhere you walk,
there will be my words,
my promises,
EVERYTHING
I promised you,
i kept.
Would you be surprised?
Would you be proud?
Am I allowed to go to you,
and confess that I am broken because of you,
because you hurt me,
and because you are missing from my life?
Addison...
I love you more than anything.
As I write,
my warm tears leave cool streaks on my cheeks.
The same tears that I've cried from all the happiness you gave me.
I cry
-right now-
You've changed me,
for the better.
My confidence, my trust, my heart, everything... because of you.
How would I not cherrish that?
Be so thankful?
So grateful?
but, lied to?
I may only be sixteen and so are you,
but just look at everything we went through.
Look at it all....
It has been months, and they are so empty
without your name.
Things wont be the same...
and I am to blame...
because I should have ended my life,
before you came.
