I have fallen down and gotten back up,
I am still fighting to figure out who I am.
The people I have encountered have,
abandoned, betrayed, loved, left, molded, hated, ME.
I am trying to figure out who I am without losing my mind,
without losing my hope.
I have been broken down and taken apart,
exposed to the naked eye.
I am an insect under a microscope and you, the unknown,
are my worst enemy.
I am trying not to lose grip
You have taken so much from me,
you a nameless bastard!
I am ruined for maybe my whole life
and may never be able to be whole again.
I have let you mold me to your idea of perfection.
I let my guard down again and again.
I keep doing that, I keep falling down,
Listen to the cries of pain.
Let you take advantage of my naive ways.
I may not be perfect
but I think I am okay with this.
I may let you bring my hopes down
And let you rape away the last of my dreams.
Maybe I will do that or maybe I will stop it all.
I have been in the insane world for too long.
I have disappeared inside my head for fear of your lies.
I have cried myself to sleep for the little girl I never was.
To those who love me and have loved me,
I am not who you think I am.
I don't know who I am, an impostor, in this so-called life.
A widow with no red mark.
A red drop from the razors that haunt my mind.
So lost in every one's shadow, I forgot I had one.
I'm not okay anymore.
I am you.
I am everything you want me to be,
But not me, never me...
