Broken fist

by Kelwin lost in thought   Mar 29, 2011


Broken fists
sliced wrists
broken hearted
this is life

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  • 11 years ago

    by Kate

    Hmm, this is interesting. It is short and definitely right to the point. I like it.

    I also like the rhyme in the first two lines but the other two lines dont so it throws off the flow of the piece.
    Maybe you could think of a different line for the last part then put the "this is life" line at the end?

    Just an idea.

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