Bird of Jove

Amazing style

This title was quite pleasing to me when I first saw it Bri- at first time I glanced I thought it was bird of joy, but then this emphasis on surprise....wow! great touch :)

"I give not of myself to thee,
a love like thou has given me,
for know not I of all myself,
for life has given every breath,
my love to thee as solely free,
in life, in death, eternity."

The structure is beyond brilliant! You use inverted word order and just take simple phrases and give them deeper meanings...you still are searching for yourself and therefore cannot give yourself fully in that love yet....but then later in the stanza you say how unbound this love is, that it moves freely through the stages of life.

"Yet think not of thine gifts arrant,
for beauty finds a place in self,"

Wonderful word choice, so careful and delicate. That second line speaks on its own, when you find yourself and stay confident in who you are, not who others think you must be, that is where true beauty paints its everlasting light.

"reward nor give so pleasantly,
thou has to give abundantly,
soar always in thine memory,
love like air on eagles wings."

Breathtaking imagery, strength is reaching out to me here....what wisdom I could read again and again, I felt this was just extremely profound in meaning, just eyes that glaze over it once will always find more if searching again. seeing true depth from memory's time....

Amazing job, thanks for sharing!

~MaryAnne

As I've already told you, I really like this piece (even though it feels as if I'm sitting in the theater, rather than at home at my desk). :)

The meter and the rhyming scheme are perfect in the first stanza, so I'm not sure why you changed it up in the second stanza. It almost reads like a separate poem from the first.

You know when I was reading it for the 1st time, I got stuck at the title..like DAM..that's interesting, and yap ah was RIGHT..

I love the usage of old english, and the thee thy thou wordds, cause you weren't just using them, u were mastering their usage and i found that very interesting from you!

The meter and the way you organized the poem, made it jst way interesting to be read, it's neat and attractive, well done!

I give not of myself to thee,
a love like thou has given me,

^

amazing word choice,
great meaning, and definitely well done
putting it under life section, someone else would have chose love, but no, the wisdom in this piece needs this section, inspiring!

for know not I of all myself,

^
the wording is so SEXY LOL, and that means
it's just elegant and flowing :P

for life has given every breath,
my love to thee as solely free,

^^
how deep? how lovely? how sweet and how shows
this sense of giving from deep inside ur heart

in life, in death, eternity.
^^
i love how u ddnt say (and ), just with commas.. perfect..eternity left a huge impact

Yet think not of thine gifts arrant,
^
wonderful line bri!

for beauty finds a place in self
^TRUE
ma wise girl, true... very true,
shows that u are not a shallow person,
and when you search for something, you know
where to look, and in what do u see..perfect!

love like air on eagles wings.

^^
that closing line was very strong,
and i thought the whole parts were just perfect
and complete, like donu nothing is missing, punctuation..word choice, wisdom, flow, depth.. such a full package and yet u talk about MY poems? HA.. that;s gay lady .. u mastered this poem and its my next week's nomination. wont forget

FIVE