Addiction

I crawl back to you
like an addict to the needle
i need to feel again
feel you coursing through my veins
filling me with life
with love
i slice my heart with you
my own brand of heroin
making me high
higher than the pain
higher than the loneliness
a dose of you and i can breathe again
but you leave again and i am lost once more
the physical pain of being without you making me scream
silently
the words echoing in my head
all the words you ever said
"i love you"
"i need you"
"you are my life now"
"youre all ill ever want"
..
"youre dead to me"
"in reality we will never be together"
"im in love with her"
"youre like a sister to me"
..
i feel every piece of my heart turn to ice
the memories ripping everything apart
i cant breathe
i cant see beyond you and what you left behind
an empty shell of a girl who made the mistake of loving someone too much
so much she lost everything she had
everything she could have had
led by nothing but a string attached to you
tripping over her own feet trying to catch up to you
never quite reaching you
but she fights to stay strong
to wait for what she knows might last
hope strangles her and gives her breath at the same time
as she watches from afar
waiting for the moment when he turns and sees her by his side
where she has always been and always will be..