Comments : You

  • 13 years ago

    by Mello193

    This was short but awesome. I think alot of people can relate to this, how we want someone to be, and finding out the sheer pain that is who they arent. Great poem

  • 13 years ago

    by La Reina De Corazones

    Thks

  • 13 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    I like the tittle... You! it shows much anger. Only I don't feel like the poem has that anger, try to fish into your mind your heart and express, not only what you would say, but how you feel.
    The first two lines are great, but I feel you've repeated them in another poem.... try to use different words and merge poems if you feel they're similar.

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    My heart couldn't hide
    the pain, the unbearable reality
    that you had changed from the man
    i had loved
    for now i see the man that you had once swore to me
    that you'd never turn out to be

    The first line revealed the painful time stage the author reached face-to-face with reality. It's really hard to lose the most valuable part of life, the love, when the beloved suddenly changes, especially if there's a promise or what we call swearing. The hard times comes after that when you still see the same person but with different feelings reminding you with the sweet times you spent together. Now the repetition of seeing that person resembles slow death with a poison dosage. I loved your work though it's short but great.
    One point, I think think "had once swore" should be "had once sworn" if I'm not mistaken.
    Thank you for sharing my friend.